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Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. We havent tried that for a while. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this weeks reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ", 29. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. ", 92. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. - George Carlin. If a dog can do it, you can watch. ", 35. "In America, anyone can become president. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. You have owners. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. After that, they don't wanna know about you. George Carlin. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town , the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. This is the best we can do, folks. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence? George Carlin, If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. Everything He ever makes dies. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. It seems only right. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. They've got you by the balls. They own all the important land. ", 88. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. Known for his funny and sarcastic quotes, we think you'll get a kick out of his words. ", 39. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, Religion has actually convinced people that theres an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. I didn't bother with him. "It helps to remember this.. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. You dont. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. ", 5. They got you by the balls. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. You know what they want? LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. Let's start with critical race theory. This cookie is used for email services. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Trump did not fall to Earth from. they don't wanna know about you. Theyre not interested in that. George Carlin. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. It gloriously backfired, Dictionary.com just added several new LGBTQ+ words & also grundle, Love, drugs & the club: As a gay man, life looks different with a new disability, Kim Petras says the road to fame while trans was twice as long, School bans parents as a threat to kids over LGBTQ-affirming posts, Sam Smith is trending on Twitter and the discourse is truly Unholy. It's so f**kin' heroic. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. '", 73. 43. But this week, his voice has brought to life a new anti-Trump video called America Wake Up, created by a. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. "I have lots of ideas. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. F*ck Hope. May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. - George Carlin. 42. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. That doesnt help them. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. JIM STAFFORD. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. 1. Thats what the owners count on. Which doesn't make any sense at all. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. ", 8. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! It will not be with jack-boots. ", 38. Its because volunteers work for no pay. 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In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. They want your fuckin retirement money. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites. Its because volunteers work for no pay. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. ", 13. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. When a . That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. ", 82. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. This is what we have to offer. September 12, 2019. You only get to hear cats. ", 6. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. ", Want more great quotes? If you can't beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. Weve added years to life, not life to years. No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. ", 120. The truth is, we dont have people like that. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? ", 105. ", 94. Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. ", 76. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. They dont want that. They will do anything for the unborn. They never mention that part to us, do they? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. This cookie is used to manage the interaction with the online bots. The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. "Don't give your money to the church. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. You have no choice. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. ", 67. They've got the judges in their back pockets. ", 22. "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. ", 68. ", 4. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. ", 25. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. ", 109. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Its a big club and you aint in it. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. ", 42. After that, they don't want to know about you. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. ", 81. It also helps for marketing automation solution for B2B marketers to track customers through all phases of buying cycle. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. ", 11. The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. "Laugh often, long and loud. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. ", 104. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Never join a group that has a name. You have owners. 3 queens who slayed while imitating Rep. George Santoss drag alter ego, Kitara Rivache, Libs Of TikTok's Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, Tennessee issues trans healthcare ban & nation's first drag ban. ", 85. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. You think your current financial. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. It also helps in fraud preventions. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media