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Suddenly we're down to four. Difference. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. Not affiliated with OpenAI. TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? Two is all you need, folks. endstream George Carlin Scripts They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Yes, all the words are quite impolite. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Ive read it dozens of times. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). The planet is fine. And the more noise there is, the harder it is to hear anything worth listening to. 01. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. They own everything. What? Some parents deserve respect. Beep Boop, this was generated by by ChatGPT. Tired of that shit. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. You dont. Two reasons. They are irrelevant. 186 0 obj ,G0p%:::400-: @%L`n((lax@\0eF,q] \ .P+4 d3;P hnN*S fxsH>XDAA#beae:i5rY3h11(31013a_p_&]37CD\&k2N@TD}. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. They got you by the balls. 160 Copy quote. That's a big activity here in Washington! Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. And that's just sad.". stream STANDS4 LLC, 2023. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. of American cultural paradoxes. for Caitlin & Johnny - 2015, Korey Soderman (via Kyle): 'All our lives I have used my voice to help Korey express his thoughts, so today, like always, I will be my brothers voice' for Kyle and Jess - 2014, Bruce Springsteen: 'They're keepers of some of the most beautiful sonic architecture in rock and roll', Induction U2 into Rock Hall of Fame - 2005, Olivia Colman: 'Done that bit. Do you? To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. Nobody seems to care! People like to twist that around. That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. Read it first. Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. Nobody seems to care. It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. From Life Is Worth Losing. Forget the politicians. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. POLITICIAN:HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INITIATIVE. I dont vote. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. His parents split up when he was an infant because his . endobj According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Certainly! Quick Guide. 0000001936 00000 n They don't get any real human contact. Pfft! Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! Everybody says they suck. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. <>stream Maybe two hundred thousand? (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS . All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. George Carlin on Voting Transcript Now there's one thing you might have noticed i don't complain about: politicians. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. Everybody says they suck. Then you're just what they're looking for. Schedule . "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. George Carlin. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. Its a big club, and. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. Global Search Search In. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. https://ad.style/. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). Fuck hope. It's a psychologically satisfying number: the top ten; the ten most wanted; the ten best-dressed. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! 193 0 obj Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33, 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. "Forget the politicians. They don't care about the planet. [187 0 R 188 0 R 189 0 R 190 0 R 191 0 R 192 0 R 193 0 R] So if you are easily offended dont click the link. @Z(dXSm !4I Oh, and I cant finish without recommending the routine Carlin calls his Incomplete List of Impolite Words. I do not own this video. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Social media, huh? Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. It's just a curated version of ourselves that we want to present to the world. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. Transcript. Then youre just what theyre looking for. 0000053233 00000 n We dont have people like that in this country. Press J to jump to the feed. . I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . m o n t c l a i r . But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. They want your retirement money. Something is definitely wrong. Everybody says they suck. Hes right. Keep 'Em Separated: Remembering George Carlin : NPR They dont fall out of the sky. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. Off-course no politician would admit to such a lowly station as working in Government. User Clip: Carlin Mocks Politicians' Language. Comedian George Carlin's 'Last Words' - NPR.org We're addicted to the attention, the likes, the validation. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" They don't fall out of the sky. Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. Such as the PROCESS: POLITICIAN:WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. A friend is someone who will come over and help you move. Pfft! George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. They own all the important land. ', And let's not forget the humblebrags. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. 0000008961 00000 n The PEOPLE are fucked. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. [wptabtitle]Friends[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=search id=323794037750513667][/wptabcontent] So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. Yeah, the public sucks! If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. You know what they're interested in? )'B^E_2yKg&. Then watch the video. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. They own and control the corporations. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. American stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. Every time. New episode of the podcast is terrific. [wptabs style=wpui-mre-basic mode=horizontal background=false] They OWN YOU. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. The Religion and Political Views of George Carlin - Hollowverse Something is wrong here. 0000003516 00000 n Now normally during peace times the politician would refer to people in the military as: POLITICIAN:OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD. (LAUGHS) PROCEEDING. So self-important. Now, in the interest of logicsomething religion has a really hard time withI'm going to skip around the list a little bit: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. The planet is fine. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. 0000003180 00000 n As long he included one additional commandment: Genius is the ultimate source of music knowledge, created by scholars like you who share facts and insight about the songs and artists they love. The Secret News (News ticker sound effect), Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus, Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. POLITICIAN:I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(English Language and Literature Commons)/Rect[137.2383 212.4906 328.3613 224.2094]/StructParent 5/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life George has been quoted as calling this his favourite HBO special of them all due to its continuous flow-on nature and high standard of writing. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. It's like a bunch of robots pretending to be human. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. Sure, here's a sample transcript of George Carlin talking about social media in one of his stand-up routines: "Let's talk about social media for a minute. 188 0 obj You got people posting pictures of their food, their pets, their vacations. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. Its what our system produces. [Brain Droppings] | C-SPAN.org Search. Everyone experiences pain, of course. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. 183 0 obj Thank you. (But First, Answer Me This). [5] And another one: The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) Theyre not interested in that. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! Carlin is funny as hell. Required fields are marked *. D} 8 &L$` %pPyZnC*ss9Qm^-u~Y]5;D- p?Ds+A$%C"CXU@5M`mO=YK6l[f0xc5j D6C"NMUCDV#[7q&>O!WsDm~ |!=?H^wM $M:w085uk8OaP;,p|Jp@H0 O#NE\f&KXl1DHq0,>b4A !oPfcmxe5)l*1x,g FC[A9u71-tILKA n_B--jxQjB,=oINnh;> R# }bO 7?|`M S(5OdC0#K1EH-Llj[~y' c7ozi=w,PP&e~g$2! *@@Gh!'[G F.r *N-@LoX15XvGA4#Wb_"$,%%8@2% First of all, its meaningless. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. (6K"F;nyV-()*bt3QgsX;a\IC'h%7. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. 4 Mar. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. % 0000002565 00000 n I dont vote. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' They want obedient workers. everybody complains about politicians. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg You caused the problem. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Everybody complains about politicians. An INITIATIVE is an idea that isn't going anywhere! Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and share your thoughts and feelings in person. Here it is: Why are there ten? George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for.